Today, Tonia talked about how she learned to start trusting Brandon again.
Before recovery could begin, Brandon had to realize just how far he had fallen, and how much hurt he had caused. He had to learn to stop looking away from the pain Tonia was experiencing. Once he realized the extent of the hurt, he could truly repent. Before he hit that point, prayer never really penetrated his own heart. Now he realized just how desperately he needed to get his relationship with God back on track.
Even when Brandon felt like he was on the road to healing, Tonia knew that there was no quick fix to rebuild broken trust. It had taken her four years to hit the emotional low she was at, and it might take her just as long to recover. But as Brandon grew spiritually and continued to commit to purity, and as the disagreements stopped turning into fights, she reopened herself to the possibility of physical intimacy again.
One of the tools Brandon used in his commitment to purity was STRIVE, a 21-day detox program that walked through the basics of pornography addiction and its impacts and gave Brandon a roadmap to freedom. The comments feature also gave him a community of men dealing with similar issues for encouragement and solidarity. STRIVE is absolutely free, so husbands, register today: https://www.strive21.com/
The other tool that was key for Brandon and for rebuilding trust in his marriage was accountability software. Having accountability allowed him to slowly walk the road to freedom while having a brother he could trust right by his side. As he learned about the impacts of pornography in STRIVE, it only furthered his drive to have Covenant Eyes on his devices. You have an opportunity to try it free for 30 days by clicking here: https://rb.gy/gb9zkn. Don’t wait any longer. Today is the day.
1) Wives, how long did it take you to get where you’re at emotionally today? What can your husband do to rebuild trust?
2) Husbands, what steps can you take to commit to purity? What can you do to pursue your wife?
3) Have you tried programs like STRIVE? If so, how did it go? If not, why not?
4) Read Philippians 2:1-16. What does this passage tell us about how we should live, and what steps might lead you closer to God while rebuilding trust?
If, then, there is any encouragement in Christ, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, make my joy complete by thinking the same way, having the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others.
Adopt the same attitude as that of Christ Jesus,
who, existing in the form of God,
did not consider equality with God
as something to be exploited.
Instead he emptied himself
by assuming the form of a servant,
taking on the likeness of humanity.
And when he had come as a man,
he humbled himself by becoming obedient
to the point of death—
even to death on a cross.
For this reason God highly exalted him
and gave him the name
that is above every name,
so that at the name of Jesus
every knee will bow—
in heaven and on earth
and under the earth—
and every tongue will confess
that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.
Therefore, my dear friends, just as you have always obeyed, so now, not only in my presence but even more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God who is working in you both to will and to work according to his good purpose. Do everything without grumbling and arguing, so that you may be blameless and pure, children of God who are faultless in a crooked and perverted generation, among whom you shine like stars in the world, by holding firm to the word of life. Then I can boast in the day of Christ that I didn’t run or labor for nothing.